whatever's clever

Kristiana.

Cebu, Philippines.


Photographs, books and monologues.
Posted on 17, August 2014 August 17 2014 2014年8月17日 by kitcha

The 10 Guys You Will Meet in Cebu

So, a while back this cool dude Mikel Rama gave you the 10 girls you will meet in Cebu. I tried to come up with my own list of guys you’ll meet in Cebu so. Yeah. :)

1.The Chuy Guy

Natural habitat: Ayala, IT Park (away from the usual crowded spots mind you), Banilad

He’s that dude who looks so humot. And you won’t be surprised if he actually is. He’s the one who’s been driving daddy’s Fortuner since before people his age got licenses. His winks send girls reeling over, and he’s always got one pretty girl tucked under his arm. In other words, he is most likely out of your league. But darn, he sure looks dapper in those Sperry shoes.

2. The Chuy-chuy Guy

Natural Habitat: Where they think is cool

He’s the kind of guy who tries to be the chuy guy, but ends up being just the chuy-chuy guy. Almost, but not really. Go figure.

3.The Shofu

Natural Habitat: Where the other shofus are

The Shofu has perfect style. He has nice taste in movies. He gets why you like Katy Perry. And he likes other Shofu guys too.

4.The Insik

Natural Habitat: Their tindahan sa downtown

Accounting 101 emergency? Solicitations to pass your NSTP class? Needing a wholesale supplier for loombands, laundry detergents, siomai sa tisa and whatnot? The Insik is your go-to guy for everything business. He most likely went to a Chinese school (duh) and actually knows how to speak badass Mandarin. His financial savvy is impressive but also, he’s so cute especially when he smiles because his eyes almost disappear (and you mean that in the most non-racist, adorable way). You already know that you won’t work out. He’s probably going out with a cute chinita already.

5. The Nerd

Natural Habitat: National bookstore, GOLS internetan, your school libraries

He may or may not be known as DarkMaster_845 online but his thick eyeglasses are a tell-tale sign that The Nerd spends a lot of time either gaming or reading books. The guy is on first name basis with Tolkien, Rowling and (George) RR Martin. You like having study dates at the library or at some quiet café where you silently work on stuff. But you’re one of those girls who think “If you can’t give up DOTA it’s not true love” and get tired of fetching him from GOLS so you break up. 

6. The Boy From Far-Far-Away

Natural Habitat: Far, far away

He’s not Shrek, dummy. He’s the boy from those far-off places like Alegria or Moalboal or Daanbantayan. His singsong accent is adorable. He’s an honest-to-goodness gentleman who you had to orient to the jeepney codes (17C, 14D, 01k) so that he won’t get lost. But he doesn’t believe in LDR and in long trips in the Ceres bus so. Yeah. Mao na sya.

7.The Skater Dude

Natural Habitat: The streets, skate parks, under the Marcelo Fernan Bridge—-they’re nomads

Ah, the skater guy. One day you were walking down Escario when you see him pass by, riding on his skateboard, his dishevelled hair caught in the wind and bam—-it was love at first ollie. He’s carefree and his tricks make your heart do some nasty kickflips. Sadly, your romance was short lived since your coordination sucks and your last date cost you a broken wrist and a trip to the ER.

8. The Bad Guy

Natural Habitat: Ugh, places.

The Bad Guy is aka Aw Olark Guy, which, in bayot language means, Wa’y Klaro Guy. You get the drift. He’s the guy you can’t trust, the guy who leaves you hanging. Enough said.

9.The Good Guy

Natural Habitat: Places with good lighting and non-alcoholic beverages.

The Good Guy is the polar opposite of the bad guy. He’s the guy to take home to mama. He’s an endangered species who actually cares about curfew and not drinking while driving. But he has other priorities in life, like finishing medicine or law school. So yeah. You don’t get to take him home to mama.

10.The Guy

Natural Habitat: Imung heart (lels)

Well,he’s…it. The one who makes you feel on top of the world even if you’re just sharing a ginabot and a Sparkle. The guy who’s custom-made for you. He’s all you’ve ever wanted plus pakapin. You may or may not have found him yet but when you do, you’ll know. J

Posted on 04, August 2014 August 04 2014 2014年8月4日 by kitcha

up up and away

Missing all my cousins who have gone far and away. I’m happy that they’ve conquered their comfort zones and discovered entire worlds but also, I miss them terribly. It’s occurred to me that no one ever lasts long in staying here in our house. It was, somehow, like a halfway home for my cousins. The in-between place. The rest stop between where they’re from and where they’re going. They never had permanent places that they can call their own for a long time. They were always moving, always changing addresses whereas I have lived all these years in the safety of Lapu-Lapu City. I guess sometimes I’m lucky that way. But I think they’re also lucky, because now, they get to call so many places home.